Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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