You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
