You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
