Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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