Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The power of my boobs compel you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
