I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
