I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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