Girls should come with a carfax report
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
