who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
