Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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