If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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