he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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