i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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