Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
