i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
