The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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