So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
