sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
