her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
