Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
