Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
