I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
