You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
