apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
