Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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