I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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