In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
