It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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