we're chasing vodka with high fives
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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