Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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