you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
