Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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