I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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