: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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