are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
