I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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