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• (949): View more from California

  youre so sexy i want your bod

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude, did you turn gay?

  (949): View more from California

  heather?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is jacob

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.

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• (646): View more from New York

  in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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• (972): View more from Texas

  The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.

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• (707): View more from California

  Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"

  (712): View more from Iowa

  He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  You sent me a very drunk love letter

  (214): View more from Texas

  Was it the one about pterodactyls?

  (469): View more from Texas

  I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me

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• (834): View more from

  Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle

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