if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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