If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
