he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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