He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
