sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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