The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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