you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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