So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
