This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
