he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
