So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
