the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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