We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
